


Baby Steps Make the Man

by o_r_r



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Biting, Grinding, If you want the penetration my dudes let me know, M/M, Making Out, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Woosan cameo, a little bit kinky
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-31
Updated: 2020-10-31
Packaged: 2021-03-09 02:14:17
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,584
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27296965
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/o_r_r/pseuds/o_r_r
Summary: This fic is inspired by another one I read a while ago. I loved it so if you recognize the easter eggs, please let me know so I can give her the proper credit.He tried not to think about what was waiting at his apartment. The thing was, he didn’t even know why they still technically lived together. It has been two years since he saw Seonghwa and even so, his face flushed a bit and his heart sped up at the thought of seeing him again after such a long time.A shameless continuation of I wished they could have been in that fic.
Relationships: Choi San/Jung Wooyoung, Kim Hongjoong/Park Seonghwa
Comments: 16
Kudos: 51





	Baby Steps Make the Man

Touring was really fun. It _was_ fun and every night he was able to sing and rap his heart out to people who liked his music. When he first started, they would just happily dance to his tunes. But now, he could look out into the crowd and saw that people were actually singing along. They knew the words to his songs and that just really made him want to cry. And damn it, he did cry. It was the end of his concert, he felt like the air was filled with stars. Stars that looked down on him with smiles, laughter, and love. They weren’t like the stars he used to stare at in the open field on campus after he got off work from playing music at the station. They weren’t mocking his dreams and threatening to swallow him whole. No, these stars had different faces. They were his fans. Some of these fans could have been college students who had attended his coffee house EP track show. He was home in Seoul finally after touring and living abroad for nearly two years. He ran off stage, sweaty, tears running down his face and suddenly he was engulfed in warmth. “Joong hyung, you did so fucking good, oh my gosh.” Hongjoong relaxed as he recognized the voice. It was Wooyoung. He had almost forgotten in all of his excitement that he had mailed them backstage passes to his show. They had called him as soon as they arrived, both equal levels of loud as they screamed through the phone at 4 AM in wherever in the world he was at that time.

When he pulled away Wooyoung had light in his eyes. It was nearly the same brightness that he saw in San’s as his best friend came tackling him just as Wooyoung pulled away. But Hongjoong couldn’t take his eyes off of Wooyoung. He looked so _happy._ God, he had been struggling for so long. Hongjoong would still occasionally get calls from him when he had a really bad night and didn’t want to scare or hurt San. Even over the phone, he could tell that he was getting better. But seeing him in person with a blush under his skin that used to be a terrifying grey made Hongjoong’s chest clench almost painfully as San’s grip tightened around him. When San pulled away, he could tell that they had so many questions. He held up a hand, however, to stop the onslaught of questions. “I am exhausted and sweaty. Let me get ready to leave, go home, take a shower, and then we can talk as much as you want.” San was pouting, Wooyoung was a little spaced out but after a reassuring tap from San, his eyes focused again and he smiled as well. It was small but it was so genuine that Hongjoong just pinched his cheek.

Hongjoong had been worried about Wooyoung. He knew that San was here taking care of him, but he was still worried. He had grown attached to the wide eyed, day dreamer. They had a lot in common. He wasn’t nearly as active in his mind as Wooyoung but he could relate to the never ending thoughts overtaking, screaming in head until he was nothing but a ball in his bedroom floor. Gosh, when was the last time he had even seen his bedroom. He was still sharing an apartment with…

Hongjoong took a deep breath as he pulled his shirt over his head and pulled on one of his old sweatshirts. It was getting cold in Seoul and he was thoroughly prepared with numerous jackets and a scarf that had been a Christmas present from San and Wooyoung the year before. He tried not to think about what was waiting at his apartment. The thing was, he didn’t even know why they still technically lived together. It has been two years since he saw Seonghwa and even so, his face flushed a bit and his heart sped up at the thought of seeing him again after such a long time. They hadn’t really talked much while he had been gone. After Hongjoong’s first paycheck, he had called Seonghwa and asked if they could still rent a place together because he would need a semi-permanent place to go home to. Seonghwa had agreed with a calm voice. Outside of arranging for a new apartment closer to where Seonghwa had a job at a research center, they hadn’t spoken much. He heard random updates from his friends. Yeosang, who had had a hard time accepting Hongjoong after everything had gone to shit (And Hongjoong had accidentally confessed he had feelings for _someone_ ), was actually one of the people who regularly reached out. Yeosang even occasionally met up with Seonghwa despite their period of dating being a wreck. Yeosang had called Hongjoong drunk one night a month or so ago.

_“Hongjoong, you are the biggest…idiot. The reason Seonghwa and I broke up was not because he was busy. It was because he was already in love with someone else. I don’t even think he realizes that what he feels for you is love. If you don’t do something, I’m gonna kill you both. This is fucking bullshit.”_

He got an apology text message the next morning from Yeosang and one from Seonghwa asking if he needed to pick him up from the airport when he got back. Hongjoong had cussed Yeosang out for dialing him up drunk and had gently declined Seongwha’s offer because he would be with his staff and they would be going straight to the company. Seonghwa had mustered up some blatant okay or something. Hongjoong can’t remember but he tries not to go back over their text messages over and over again. They weren’t in high school anymore. They were in their late 20’s at this point. He should have fallen out of love with the guy years ago but it’s still there.

The drive to his apartment is quiet. It’s like Wooyoung and San know that he needs the silence to prepare himself. He has some time off before he hits another busy spell. He has two months to relax and just work on his next album before all shit breaks lose again. He loves his new life, but there were things back here at home that needed to be addressed. He has things to address like the increasingly large hole in his chest when he thought about his high school best friend turned roommate turned almost stranger. It was almost painful and he imagined that if this were some shit anime he would hacking up petals by now. When Hongjoong finally arrives in front of the door to his apartment he has a moment of conflict between knocking and using his key. Mingi and Yunho had been the ones to move all of his stuff into his new place. They had been all too happy to do it because that meant he and Seonghwa were still…something. Hongjoong huffed a bit, pulled out the key and unlocked the door. He pushed it open and took a cautious look inside. When he came in, suitcases and duffel bags weighing him down, he found Seonghwa standing in the kitchen with a steaming bowl of ramen in his hands. There was the initial shock from seeing someone enter his house. Seongwha’s eyes looked Hongjoong up and down trying to really assess the whole situation. Hongjoong’s once ridiculous mullet was not cut short, with a hard set of bangs, his hair a dark, midnight blue. He would have never been able to use the color before because he used to choke on the visions of laughing stars with gaping mouths trying to consume the thoughts that flooded his mind like a sink left on in an empty apartment with no one to care if the floors were drowning in it. Seonghwa sets the bowl on the counter and nearly trips over himself before Hongjoong is swallowed by the oversized long sleeve shirt draping ridiculously on Seongwha’s thin frame. Hongjoong is frozen stock still. Seonghwa wasn’t an affectionate person by any means. Yes, they had cuddled on the couch and watched movies but it wasn’t romantic. Hongjoong initiated it most of the time. Seonghwa only crawled into his bed to cuddle him when he was either drunk or emotionally exhausted. But it was so platonic. This felt like Hongjoong was a prisoner of war finally come home to be greeted by the love of his life who watched him with eyes that were trying to piece together just how much of their husband had actually returned.

Hongjoong was finally able to move, his hands came to wrap around Seongwha’s, if possible, smaller waist. Had he been eating right? Had he been getting enough sleep? Why was he so thin? Seongwha’s deep gravelly voice was whispering in his ear. Not that he needed to whisper but it came out so small and precious like he could barely bring himself to say it, “I missed you so much, Joongie. Fuck.” Hongjoong breathed in the smell of Seongwha. The lavender soap he used because he liked its pungent scent and the smell of Hongjoong’s favorite strawberry shampoo that he used to complain about when the dye would leave stains on the shower walls. Had he been buying it while he had been gone? “I miss you too, Hwa.” There was an awkward clearing of a throat and Seonghwa chuckled, “I know you two are standing there but I need this more than I care about letting you inside.” Hongjoong was blushing like a freaking idiot so he pushed away and looked Seonghwa in the eyes, which rightfully so was a bad fucking idea. It was obvious Seonghwa had not been sleeping well. His eyes had dark circles under them that Hongjoong can only imagine he meticulously covered with BB cream and concealer when he took the few pictures that Hongjoong had seen over the past two years. His eyes were dark and Hongjoong felt like he was staring at a shadow of Wooyoung in the first night at the café. Hongjoong gently squeezed Seongwha’s arm, “Let them get settled in my room and we can cuddle in yours?” Hongjoong wasn’t sure if Hwa would agree. They weren’t affectionate with each other, but this was a different Seongwha. He was different but he was the same.

After he had settled Woosan (Mingi had come up with the stupid nickname while he had been away and it had blown up in their group chat) in the other room, he took a shower before drying his hair (“Don’t you fucking dare think about getting my sheets wet, Hongjoong”) he hesitantly opened Seonghwa ’s door to find him already curled underneath the blankets, scrolling lazily through his phone. At the sound of Hongjoong entering, he softly smiled and locked his phone before plugging it in. He pulled the covers aside and let Hongjoong slide in beside him. They were both laying on their sides facing each other, searching the other’s face for anything. Hongjoong tried to keep his look mutual but the sinking hole in his chest made it hard when Seongwha’s hair flopped in his eyes like that and he looked so soft. Hongjoong spoke first, “You haven’t been sleeping or eating well, have you?” Seonghwa looked a little shocked, “You got the other’s spying on me or something?” Hongjoong laughed. Seonghwa was easy to love from afar. Not because it was easy to love him. God, when he had dated Yeosang, that greek god of a face, he had been absolutely devastated because he knew it would work out. When it hadn’t, he had felt guilty like the universe was taking pity on his unwavering love and broke them up only to make him pay the price of the two never being together. It was easy because from afar he had painstakingly taken every measure to not remember all the tiniest details about Seonghwa but managed to remember every damn thing anyway. His little quirks, his big quirks, his need to keep his home looking like a five star hotel. And over the years he had made his guilty pleasure to learn all the tiny things because Seonghwa didn’t know he was watching. That’s what made it easy. Seonghwa didn’t know. Hongjoong breathed deeply. “No, silly, I know you. Look at those bags and your waist has gotten smaller. I thought you were already skinny enough but I guess you had more to lose.” Seonghwa groaned and buried his face in the pillow. Shit, was he trying to kill Hongjoong? “Stop being so observant. It’s scary.” Hongjoong felt himself moving before he could stop himself. His hands came up to thread through Seongwha’s bangs that he had never seen get this long. “Who will be overbearing and whiny about you taking care of yourself if I don’t? I honestly should have known that you weren’t taking care of yourself. You used to get real quiet back then too.”

Back then. Right, when Hongjoong had been having his own problems with finding the right therapist all the while Seonghwa had been having an existential crisis. He remembers Seonghwa sitting in his apartment when he had come back from another failed appointment with, who Wooyoung would have helped him so beautifully describe years after the fact, shark therapists. Seonghwa had immediately started sobbing asking over and over again why he couldn’t love a woman. He had tried to hard but he couldn’t do it. Hongjoong had held him until he fell asleep but Seonghwa was gone the next morning. Would he be gone tomorrow when he woke up too? Seonghwa seemed to be going along the same train of thought in his head because he asked, “Are you going to work tomorrow?” Hongjoong shook his head. Seonghwa nodded and ducked his head down as he spoke, “I…uh…took time off from work. I know you said you would be coming home this week but you just didn’t know when so…I finished all of my work today. I have the week off. If you…wanted to maybe relax here and later we could go check out some of our old spots.” Hongjoong was surprised. He just kept staring at the man lying beside him trying to remember if this really was his Seongwha. Well, not his, but was this really the same Seonghwa who would spend all of his time on assignments and interning? Who would wave Hongjoong off when he offered to cook dinner? Seonghwa looked up when Hongjoong still hadn’t answered. So Hongjoong found himself nodding. And then, with Seonghwa looking absolutely relieved, he shuffled closer. Seonghwa pulled him in and Hongjoong felt an arm around his waist as he buried his head in the raven haired boy’s chest. “Seongwha, are you okay?” “I am now.”

The next morning, Hongjoong woke up feeling warm. When he blinked opened his eyes, he was met with Seongwha’s pale, veiny arms. Despite the obvious weight loss, his arms were still just as toned as they had been years ago. His heart picked up speed at this and he just really hoped he didn’t pop a boner as he breathed in the scent of his best friend. Yes, just his best friend who missed him and asked him if he wanted to go on a da—trip into town. Just a friend on a trip. Seonghwa seemed to catch on that he was awake because his deliciously sugary morning voice broke the silence, “Joong, I can hear you thinking. Tone it down. It’s too early for that.” Arms tightened around him and yes, he was completely pressed up against Seongwha. Sometime in the night, Hongjoong must have rolled over and Seonghwa had stuck to him like glue. Hongjoong could feel Seongwha’s morning wood pressed into the curve of his ass and okay he really needed to get up now but Seonghwa had a death grip around his waist. “We’re both guys Hongjoong and I’m cold. I’m sure you can stand a little morning wood until I wake up properly.” Ah, there was the blunt Seonghwa he remembered. His friends didn’t know about this side of him as well as he did. Seonghwa was shy but any of that shyness bled away when Hongjoong was there. They had been there through all the awkward stages of life helping each other along but Hongjoong’s heart was about to fall out of his chest. Hongjoong could be blunt too. “Seongwha, you know I won’t hesitate to grind on your if you don’t let me out of this bed. I haven’t had some dick in years, you know. Kind of want to remember what if feels like.” Seonghwa chuckled but just tightened his grip. “Go ahead. I won’t stop you.” Hongjoong was shocked. Did he hear that right?

Sure, he and Seonghwa weren’t saints. They were two gay teenagers who had a taste for drowning their insecurities in alcohol. They had grinded on each other a few times. They had never kissed like it was a step they were afraid would ruin whatever their friendship was built on. But they were completely sober now. Hongjoong wasn’t one to back down from a challenge however. He rolled his hips against Seonghwa whose hand flew to his hip. “Shit, Joong, I was half kidding but fuck.” Seonghwa rolled his hips forward, the growing hardness of his cock sliding between his cheeks through the thin material of his gym shorts. Shit, did he even put on under last night. Joong hissed at the contact, “Wait, I forgot to put on underwear last night. This is really close, Hwa.” Seonghwa groaned, no it really sounded like a growl. “Not something you tell someone with a boner, Joongie.” His hips were pulled roughly against Seonghwa and Hongjoong positively preened at the idea of having marks on his hips later. Seonghwa was grinding on his ass, soft moans and huffs of breath the only sounds he made. Seongwha’s hips continued to roll continuously and any hope Hongjoong had of not popping a boner was gone now. He could feel the heat of Seongwha’s face on the back of his neck like he was hovering their trying to deciding what he should do. Hongjoong wasn’t as patient. Slotting his back firmly into Seongwha’s chest, felt the brush of his lips on his neck at the proximity and it’s like a dam broke. Angry water, held back for years collecting the yells of a passerby, a thousand umbrellas decaying in its depths tainted by the salinity of a decade of unshed tears and yearning. Seongwha’s lips mouthed at his neck, upper body lifting to gain better access even as his hips just never stopped moving. Seonghwa was sucking on his neck, teeth coming out from behind his plush lips to nip at the skin leaving red seas in its wake. He met the junction of Hongjoong’s neck and shoulder, biting down especially hard and Hongjoong’s hips kicked as a whine slipped past his lips. “Please, Hwa, please…” He didn’t know what he was asking for but Seonghwa seemed to know because Hongjoong was suddenly on his back, hips pressed into the mattress as Seonghwa pressed himself against him, his faced hovering dangerously close with glossy, spit slick lips. “Joong, can I kiss you?” Hongjoong should’ve gotten whiplash from how fast he nodded and he wonders as Seonghwa descends on him how the fuck he wasn’t thinking when the only thing his mind ever wanted to do was think, think, think. Hwa didn’t let him think. He stole every syllable that Hongjoong knew when he slotted their lips together and rolled his hips sinfully down against his own aching member. Hongjoong’s arms came up, one hand going to thread to Seongwha’s hair the other going to claw desperately at Seongwha’s clothed back. Seonghwa was eating him alive. One particularly beautifully angled thrust had Hongjoong’s mouth fall open and Seonghwa dipped in, licking along the back of his teeth and sucking his tongue. Hongjoong just let him. Seonghwa pulled away only to suck his bottom lip into his mouth and burying his teeth into it. Hongjoong’s legs came up to wrap around Seongwha’s waist because damn it he wanted to be closer. He wanted to taste more of him. Even just this close, the heat between their bodies caused his hair to stick to his forehead with sweat, he was so close. Seonghwa seemed to be getting pretty close too because his breathing had changed. He was kissing down Hongjoong’s neck again and he couldn’t even be mad that he would have to wear a sweater to cover up the fact that he had been absolutely mauled. “Hwa—m’close, fucking shit. Need you closer but I—“ Seonghwa just hummed in response, his hands pushing the hem of his shirt um and shoving it into Hongjoong’s mouth. He dipped his head down, leaving marks all along his chest and then he was swirling his tongue around Hongjoong’s nipple, nibbling, sucking, full on biting until Hongjoong felt himself shiver. The disgusting feeling of cum inside his shorts not even bothering him as Seonghwa let out a groan of his own and his hips stuttered. He rode out his high and Hongjoong almost got hard again because damn if he didn’t love it when someone kept fucking him (or against him in this case) when he was oversensitive. The flush on his face seemed to tell Seonghwa as much because Seonghwa was looking at him like he had a really nasty idea. A mischievous smirk graced his flawless features before his hand was reaching down into Hongjoong’s shorts, cum stains be damn, and he was wrapping his fingers around his slicked up member. “Think you could come again like this, Joongie?” Joong nodded, tears springing to his eyes as he fucked up into Seongwha’s fist. Seonghwa kissed the trail of tears away and gave him a chaste kiss before he was mouthing at Hongjoong’s jaw. “Wanna watch you come again Joongie. Wanna watch it over and over again. Eat you out, fuck you slow, fuck you fast. Make you come untouched over and over again.” That did it for Hongjoong as he came a second time, his vision going a little hazy.

When he came to, Seonghwa was whipping him down with a wet towel and whispering sweetly to him. Hongjoong watched him and finally started thinking again. Like, how he hadn’t seen him in two years. How when he had left, Seonghwa had dropped him off at the airport looking both happy for him and a little lost. Like he wasn’t sure what this meant for them as friends. They were friends. But friends don’t wake up and grind on each other and they certainly don’t immediately coax out a second one. And they definitely don’t talk about fucking. Seonghwa had his moments when he first got to college where Hongjoong would have to look the other way because sometimes Seonghwa would bust out of his reserved shell and be brave. One night, he had even brought someone home with him. It had only happened once. Now that Hongjoong looks back, someone as attractive as Seonghwa should have brought home more than one person in the 7 years they had lived together. But how about now? Was this all just an extension of him having his friend back? Did Seonghwa like him? He never acted like he had before. The dam was slowly repairing itself as his worries and questions seemed to stack on top of each other brick after brick. The waters were restless once more and he wasn’t sure if rotting umbrellas were the only things down there. If he glanced in the waters, he feels like Wooyoung’s sharks might be swimming down there too. Hongjoong took a deep breath. No, he wasn’t like Wooyoung. He didn’t have trauma that caused him to dissociate or an over imaginative mind that seemed to flare up in chaos. But he did think too much. Perhaps Wooyoung had only finally given him pictures to go with the words that constantly swam in his until they were pouring out, sliding down his throat and trapping his voice like a vice.

Seonghwa had been there for all of it. He had been a silent watch but it seemed that he was past being silent because Seonghwa was pulling a pair of his shorts up Hongjoong’s legs and he was speaking as he tapped Hongjoong’s waist so he could raise them up. Hongjoong did and he listened carefully to the now clear voice of the man who had held his love for well over a decade. “I missed you so much while you were gone. You were right. I haven’t been…eating or sleeping. The only times I could sleep were when…you were doing a live and I could listen to it. I didn’t realize that you had been here filling a gaping hole in my chest until you were gone. I haven’t been fine at all.” Hongjoong stopped staring at the ceiling and really looked at Seongwha. His eyes were screaming. There was a pool of black and in the middle was Seongwha, skin and bones—a fragile version of himself because Hongjoong wasn’t _there_. Hongjoong made grabby hands and Seonghwa sunk gratefully into his arms. “I missed you too. But…I need to know what we are doing, Hwa. Is my miss you the same as yours?” Seonghwa was quiet for some time which only made the words tighten around his throat, almost choking him. His chest felt heavy, a rock in his stomach churning without his body being able to digest the heavy stone that laid unforgiving and hard, pressing into his rib cage. “I…” Seonghwa was struggling to find words. “I’ve always loved you. You were my best friend. How could I not? But I think…I didn’t know what kind of love it is. I’m trying to figure it out. Yeosang called me one night and told me I was an idiot. That I couldn’t love him back then because I loved _you._ And I thought that really I was an idiot. I mean, I would always make you coffee when I left for work because I knew you would wake up and need it. I used sugar free creamer because your sweet tooth is honestly so fucking bad for you, Hongjoong. I mean, jesus, who the hell eats a strawberry cake for lunch? And I am a clean freak but your messy room never bothered me. I didn’t mind sleeping in your bed even if I knew you hadn’t washed the sheets in weeks. I thought that if I was willing to do those things and accept every part of you that I am not, then I had to at least see you as more than a friend, right?” Hongjoong was listening patiently. It sounded like Seonghwa was still trying to piece it together and yeah, it wasn’t ideal that Seonghwa was still having doubts after milking him dry, but he was thinking about it. He was leaning towards an end that made Hongjoong’s chest alight with hope. Something he had given up forever ago. Hongjoong gently pressed his lips to Seongwha’s forehead, “I can work with that. We can work on that.”

**Author's Note:**

> I write a lot for fun but I never post it. If you have any prompts, I'm a slut for taking up request. Thnx.
> 
> P.S. If you do know the story, hope you liked it. If you have some criticism on the way that I played this out, bite me. Unless you are the original author and then I will take every insult like I was made for it. Thanks in advance.


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